Kathleen/22/Virginia

"She was tired of just existing; she wanted to live.”

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Please, text me back. 4 Word Story (via freibierfuerdiefeinde) 164 notes
I can’t stop the memories…

The beach, watching Borgias in bed and cuddling. 6 flags, me winning the giant monkey by pure luck. The cabin, playing Mario party, the hot tub, you cooking for me…
I remember how much you used to love me…cuddling in bed, how you’d hold my hand or rub my arm while I was driving. Drinking and watching the IT crowd and other shows/movies on Netflix. Going out to the movies, the bar at TGI Fridays, Smokey Bones, BWU, Mario’s, and other places. 
I remember how you’d kiss my nose, how you’d make me giggle, hug me, and how you’d call me names like “Ms. Frizzle” and “steigleviess”. Hiding my phone from me. Playing games on our phones. Playing Call of Duty together. Looking for Raquela :( . Driving around to have a cig or our cig breaks on the bridge. Playing cards. How I’d wear your shirts. Falling asleep and waking up next to you. How you’d tickle me to cheer me up and be silly to make me laugh. How you’d always tease me. All the silly things we laughed about, like that girl I knew in high school who had a crush on you and it was a weird coincidence. 
How you’d tell me you love me more, that I’m beautiful, and that you’d never leave again…
The sex.
So many memories…

I’m not okay…I haven’t been okay for so long now.

I’m really not okay at all :’(

And why do I keep trying…I’m only making things worse aren’t I? I need to just stop, it’s pathetic. I’m pathetic…

I tried so hard for so long, trusted wholly, gave so much…and for what? Look what you’ve done to me, you fucked me up so much by doing what you did. I was an idiot, a fool…nothing but a goddamn tool!

But I only hate myself for being used for so long…for everything. It makes me feel sick because I really believed, trusted, cared…

I don’t know what to believe in anymore…

I give up. I’m just too tired…

And it’s not like anyone cares. Not even the one person I really believed did care…

Fuck it all.

Please, text me soon…

Let’s just start over and go back to normal, be friends like we were for so long…

I miss you so much…

:’(